The zulusquad wageslave topic


I guess the sales rep only got around to calling one VP who called my supervisor and they agreed the rep was a fuckhead so my day was okay

I still spent the day chasing reps with a virtual hatchet because they assume things get done without anybody else being in the loop but other than that I just made pretty tables and uhhh what’s this


A great state, it’s getting more recognition now. The best state.


I will literally not be able to see any reference to Wyoming from here on out without hearing WHHHyoming


An email thread of some length came my way by a sales manager tasked with finding the contract coordinator least likely to fuck up an extremely difficult and convoluted request. Specifically, they want to merge an internal lease (we put up the money, we make the rules, we own the equipment) with a regular bank lease (none of the aforementioned) but where nothing changes for the customer.

This is 1) a pointless request as for nothing to change you just do nothing, 2) an extremely complicated task that basically involves us buying out a lease from one bank with funding from us that is itself secured from that same bank, and 3) likely a transparent scheme to create the illusion that this sales team is selling stuff when they’re actually just moving money in circles.

My boss doesn’t understand either.

Just another mahfuckin Tuesday.


Have you asked them to present their snipe head in order to qualify?


The CFO made us (the IT dept) implement a major roll-out without advanced notice or planning.
It went about as well as expected.


My wife recently accepted a position working with the company I act as the account manager for at my company. My fear has been realized this week as I literally want to constantly bitch about how they are incompetent idiots, and I cannot because my wife is one of those incompetent idiots now. Fuck!



Fun day in which I uncover a pattern of negligence and/or straight up sales fraud

Not to get into too many specifics but when you sell a lease you get paid based on what the customer is projected to pay over the lease’s lifetime. Most contracts include language that allows us to increase the cost of service to the customer annually, usually by 15%, and that increase is factored into the projected income of the job.

While private entities usually don’t read the fine print, public ones usually force us to sign their contract amendments that, among other things, fix service costs in perpetuity. Public contracts are already pretty lucrative given that state and federal entities have good credit and sign huge deals so it’s not going to wreck our bottom line if we don’t have service escalators.

One sales rep in particular sold a few big jobs last year with such public entities - they signed amendments fixing service costs, yet the rep still bundled service escalations into all of them. It’s worth noting that this rep isn’t new to the job and I’ve already caught him in similar bullshit at the point of sale, but now it looks like I might’ve caught a pattern of him knowingly bundling escalators into public contracts and even going behind managers’ backs to add these on the sly well after the point of sale to boost his commissions.

This is bad and exposes the company to the wrong kind of attention, so tomorrow I’m going to sort through this rep’s jobs from the last year and find out if I tripped over a series of legit mistakes or something more serious.


Sounds like the cost of services isn’t the only thing that’s going to be escalated.


Yeah so it turns out he was just dumb and didn’t read some of the contracts he had customers sign, and more to the point, the contract coordinators who should’ve caught it were just too lazy to bother

I get really excited about this shit sometimes because 99% of the time things are hella predictable


My company got bought by a private equity fund today ama


are you gonna keep ur job


Yeah but who knows

I’m not feeling great because our billing department is already huge and I’m not nearly busy or indispensible enough




The news was weird because the management started with “GREAT EXCITING NEWS we’re merging with another company that operates outside our territory, we’ll be keeping our name and our managers and everything else and so will they”

And when somebody asked “So if nothing changes why are we merging” the managers had zero answers



probably means the managers are gonna get fired


I should clarify: The private equity fund is in New York, we’re merging with another printer/copier company in Texas, we’re in California. Both companies are now owned by the private equity fund. We’re merging and I have no idea why.


murders and executions


They’re probably dithering. If they just want to bind the companies together they’re probably still determining a layout. Gotta prevent that company ink from running.