The zulusquad wageslave topic


love to spend my afternoon in a user story time estimation meeting conference call

at least i can do it from my pajamas


I got to skip my estimation meeting today because I broke prod.

In 2 weeks we are getting shuffled into new teams and practicing something called “Safe” agile


remember to always put on a condom before you touch prod


Is safe agile that thing where it’s “just the tip” except you’re still wearing your boxers


3.5 hours of estimation didn’t finish im fuckin done today


Scaled agile framework. I had to look it up


Luckily my team refuses to do task estimation. It really pisses off our TPM, but thankgod we don’t have those meetings

We keep track of our work on a shared spreadsheet and boy is it confusing. I think next week we’re gonna sit down and have an all-day come-to-JIRA moment where we convert all of our current and future work items into tasks and start tracking there


Who the hell estimates more than the next week or two of shit?!?

If you are estimating tasks for 3.5 hours, your scrum guy needs to come and probably kill someone.


Unless your “agile” but suspiciously waterfall.

but then just lol




also let me tell you that it doesn’t matter how much we scope because the date is pretty much already set


We have a project list in place at work that has projects running months in advance, mostly its there to satisfy managers that don’t know what we do (I work in IT), but it can be nifty for reference.
Fuck predicting actual hours worked though, thats just retarded.


Had a pretty good interview today, they said I’d know in 24 hours if I get a second interview. Just an hour ago they sent me background check and drug test paperwork so I guess that’s probably a good sign.


Lmao they already sent me the drug test reservation email

I’ve never had to pee in a cup before a job offer

What do

  1. Pee in the cup

  2. Don’t pee not in the cup.


you gotta pee a few ml first out of the cup before you pee in the cup, thats how you purify the sample.
its like running your tap to make sure its clear first.


What if I accidentally jizz in the cup



do it and say you were confused


probably happens all the time